i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
