do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
