so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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