I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
