I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I will die if light touches me.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
