are you so shy because you have an std?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Never joke about your clitoris.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
