Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
