I wish I only lived at night.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
