tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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