Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
im about as happy as oj after his trial
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
