There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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