He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
