I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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