why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
