they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
