we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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