Don't you send me to vm
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
