come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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