Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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