Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
