I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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