I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
