with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he fucked my hip out of place.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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