god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
There's always time for handjobs
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize