Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
