Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
