You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
