non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
