I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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