We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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