When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
