I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
