i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
