I have demons in me.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
