You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
