If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you have to choose: penises or morals?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
smell my finger.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
