carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
