Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
