Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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