I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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