Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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