i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
