The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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