told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
