...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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