i would punch a child for taco bell
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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