put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
