Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
What did we do last night that was yellow?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
