Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I lost the right to judge tonight
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
