Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
