Joe is yelling at the trees again.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
