the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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