I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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