you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
