i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
we're making bets on your personal life
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
