No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
