I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
