The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
